Anxiety Deep Dive Series • Part 3
The Shadow of Control
The Illusion of Control
Anxiety is often described as an intolerance of uncertainty. To manage the discomfort of the unknown, we construct elaborate mechanisms of control. We plan, we worry, we check, we research, we seek reassurance.
While these behaviors give us a temporary sense of relief, they ultimately shrink our world. The more we try to control the uncontrollable, the more rigid and fragile our lives become.
Control vs. Trust
The opposite of anxiety is not calm; it is trust. Not the trust that "everything will be fine" (which is just another prediction), but the trust that you can handle whatever happens.
Control asks: "How can I make sure X doesn't happen?"
Trust asks: "How will I show up if X happens?"
Examining Your Control Strategies
1. The Strategy: What is one thing you do to try to gain a sense of control or certainty? (e.g., over-preparing, checking phones, asking for reassurance)
2. The Cost: What does this strategy cost you in terms of time, energy, or connection?
3. The Experiment: What would happen if you let go of this control strategy just by 5%? What is the catastrophe your mind predicts?