The Architecture of Avoidance

The Cost of Comfort

Avoidance is the fuel of anxiety. Every time we avoid a feared situation (skipping the party, not making the phone call, procrastinating on the email), we get a hit of relief. This relief reinforces the anxiety, teaching the brain: "That was dangerous, and I survived because I avoided it."

Over time, this builds an Architecture of Avoidance—a fortress of walls that keeps anxiety out but also keeps life out.

Identifying Your Walls

We avoid in many ways:

• Overt Avoidance: Not going places, not seeing people.
• Subtle Avoidance: Going, but staying on your phone, avoiding eye contact, or drinking to cope.
• Procrastination: Avoiding the discomfort of starting a task.