DBT Emotion Regulation • Part 1

Opposite Action

Changing emotions by changing behavior.

Syracuse Integrative Psychiatry

The Feedback Loop

Every emotion comes with an urge to act. Anger urges us to attack. Fear urges us to run. Depression urges us to isolate.

When the emotion fits the facts, acting on it is helpful. But when the emotion is unjustified or ineffective, acting on it only makes the emotion stronger. To change the emotion, we must do the exact opposite of the urge.

The Opposite Action Guide

Fear

Urge: Avoid / Run

Opposite Action: Approach.

  • Do what you are afraid of.
  • Keep your eyes open. Look around.
  • Stand tall. Take up space.

Anger

Urge: Attack / Defend

Opposite Action: Gently Avoid / Kindness.

  • Gently avoid the person (walk away) rather than attacking.
  • Do something nice for them (even in your mind).
  • Unclench your hands. Relax your jaw. Half-smile.

Sadness / Depression

Urge: Isolate / Stay in Bed

Opposite Action: Get Active.

  • Get out of bed. Shower. Get dressed.
  • Call a friend. Go outside.
  • Do things that make you feel competent.

Guilt / Shame

Urge: Hide / Apologize Excessively

Opposite Action: (If unjustified) Stand Tall.

  • Do NOT apologize.
  • Make eye contact. Speak clearly.
  • Share your experience with someone you trust.

"You have to do it ALL THE WAY."

Opposite action doesn't work if you do the action but keep the angry thoughts. You must change your body posture, your facial expression, and your thinking.