The Concept
"We are born in relationship, we are wounded in relationship, and we can be healed in relationship."
Hyper-independence is often a trauma response. If you learned early on that relying on others leads to disappointment or danger, you likely developed a "Do It Myself" defense.
But humans are obligate social mammals. We regulate our nervous systems through co-regulation. Denying your need for others creates a background hum of anxiety—the exhaustion of holding up the sky alone.
1 The Cost of Solo
The Burden
What are you carrying alone right now that is too heavy? (e.g., financial worry, emotional pain).
The Fear
What is the worst thing that would happen if you asked for help? (e.g., "I would be a burden," "They would say no").
The Turning Point
Leaning In
1. The Micro-Ask
You don't have to collapse into someone's arms. Start with a micro-ask. Ask someone to hold a door, pass the salt, or listen to a 2-minute vent. Notice that the world does not end when you have a need.
2. Co-Regulation
Next time you are anxious, instead of isolating, simply sit in the same room as a safe person (or pet). You don't even have to talk. Just let your nervous system sense another heartbeat nearby.