Psychodynamic Anxiety Series • Part 10

The Illusion of Control

Surrendering to the flow of life.

Syracuse Integrative Psychiatry

The Concept

"Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom." — Søren Kierkegaard

We try to control everything—our schedules, our partners, our emotions—because we do not trust that we will be okay if things go wrong. Control is the armor we wear when we feel unsafe.

But control is an illusion. We cannot stop the rain; we can only learn to swim. The antidote to anxiety is not more control; it is trust. Not trust that everything will be perfect, but trust that you can handle whatever comes.

1 The Grip

Where are you gripping?

What area of life are you micromanaging right now? (e.g., your diet, your child's behavior, your partner's mood).

The Fantasy

If you let go of the grip, what is the disaster you imagine would happen?

The Turning Point

The Practice of Surrender

1. Float, Don't Swim

When you feel the urge to "fix" or "control" a situation today, pause. Imagine you are in a river. Instead of swimming upstream (effort), turn on your back and float (trust). Say: "I am willing to see where this goes."

2. The "Maybe" Mindset

When your mind says "This is bad," respond with "Maybe." "Maybe it's bad, maybe it's good, maybe it's just happening." This loosens the grip of judgment and opens space for curiosity.