The Concept
"Perfectionism is a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it's the thing that's preventing us from taking flight." — Brené Brown
Donald Winnicott coined the term "Good Enough Mother" to describe a parent who is not perfect, but present and responsive enough to raise a healthy child. We must apply this to ourselves.
The "Good Enough Self" makes mistakes, has bad days, and is sometimes messy. And—this is the key—the Good Enough Self is still worthy of love. Anxiety thrives on the gap between who you are and who you think you should be. Closing that gap is the work of healing.
1 The Perfection Gap
The Ideal
What does the "Perfect You" look like? (e.g., never tired, always patient, size 4).
The Reality
What is one "imperfection" you are currently beating yourself up for?
The Turning Point
Embracing the Mess
1. The B-Minus Standard
Pick one area of your life (e.g., cleaning the house, writing an email) and deliberately aim for a B-minus. Do it "good enough." Not perfect. Just done. Notice that the world keeps spinning.
2. Self-Compassion Break
When you make a mistake today, instead of attacking yourself, put a hand on your heart and say: "This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment."