The Concept
"Isolation is the glue that holds trauma in place."
We often try to "fix" our anxiety in isolation—meditating alone, journaling alone, thinking alone. But the nervous system is designed to be regulated by other nervous systems.
When we are truly seen and heard by another person without judgment, our biological alarm system turns off. This is the power of the therapeutic relationship, and it is a power you can cultivate in your own life.
1 The Safety Map
Who feels safe?
List the people (or animals) in your life with whom your shoulders drop and your breath deepens.
The Barrier
What stops you from reaching out to them when you are anxious? (e.g., "I don't want to bother them").
The Turning Point
Reaching Out
1. The 5-Minute Call
Call a safe person today. You don't have to tell them your whole trauma history. Just say: "I'm feeling a little off today and just wanted to hear a friendly voice." Notice what happens to your heart rate.
2. Eye Contact
When you are out in the world (at the grocery store, coffee shop), make brief, friendly eye contact with a stranger. Acknowledge their humanity. This small act of connection signals to your primitive brain: "I am part of the tribe. I am safe."