Depression Deep Dive Series: Part 3 of 12
The Fortress of Defense
Part 3: Numbness & Intellectualization as Protection
Welcome to Part 3: The Fortress of Defense.
We often judge our numbness or withdrawal as "weakness." But psychodynamically, these are powerful defenses. Your psyche has built a fortress to protect you from pain that once felt overwhelming. The problem is not the fortress, but that you are now trapped inside it.
1. Numbness as Protection
Numbness is not the absence of feeling; it is the active suppression of feeling. It takes enormous energy to feel nothing. Think of your numbness as a heavy shield you picked up long ago to survive a battle.
If your numbness had a voice, what is it trying to protect you from feeling? (e.g., "If I let you feel sadness, you will fall apart," "If I let you feel hope, you will be disappointed again").
2. Intellectualization: Living in the Head
A common defense against depression is to retreat into the mind. We analyze, we research, we explain. We try to "figure out" our pain so we don't have to feel it. But you cannot think your way out of a feeling problem.
Do you find yourself analyzing your depression more than feeling it? What happens in your body when you stop thinking and just try to sense the physical sensation of the emotion?
3. Thanking the Guards
We cannot tear down the fortress by force; the guards will just fight harder. We must thank them for their service and let them know the war is over. We approach our defenses with gratitude, not judgment.
Write a brief thank-you note to your defenses (numbness, withdrawal, cynicism). Acknowledge how they helped you survive in the past, but explain why you are ready to slowly lower the drawbridge.