Depression Deep Dive Series: Part 6 of 12
The Wounded Child
Part 6: Re-parenting & Validating the Inner Self
Welcome to Part 6: The Wounded Child.
Often, the part of us that is depressed is a young, wounded part that has given up hope. This "Inner Child" may feel abandoned, unheard, or overwhelmed. We cannot bully this child into happiness; we must re-parent them with the compassion they didn't receive.
1. Meeting the Child
Close your eyes and imagine your depression as a child. How old are they? Where are they sitting? What is the expression on their face? This image can tell you exactly when your vitality went offline.
Describe the child you see. Are they hiding? Are they tantruming? Are they staring blankly at a wall? What does this child need right now? (Not what they should do, but what they need).
2. The Validating Parent
Most of us treat our depressed inner child like a harsh drill sergeant: "Get up! Stop being lazy! What's wrong with you?" This only makes the child retreat further. We must become the Validating Parent: "I see you are sad. It makes sense that you are sad. I am here with you."
Write a dialogue between your Adult Self and your Inner Child. Let the Child speak their hopelessness, and practice responding only with validation and presence, not fixing.
3. Play and Wonder
The opposite of depression is not just "happiness"—it is play. The Inner Child holds the key to your capacity for wonder and spontaneity. But they will only come out to play if they feel safe.
What did you love to do before you learned you had to be "productive"? (e.g., drawing, staring at bugs, making up songs). What is one tiny, non-productive act of play you could offer your Inner Child this week?