Exploring Attachment Styles
Understanding Your Blueprint for Connection
Attachment theory suggests that our early relationships with caregivers create a "blueprint" for how we relate to others as adults. Understanding your attachment style can help you make sense of your patterns in intimacy and conflict.
Core Belief: "I am worthy of love, and others are capable of loving me."
Behaviors: Comfortable with intimacy; doesn't fear being alone; manages conflict constructively.
Core Belief: "I am not okay on my own, and I need others to complete me/validate me."
Behaviors: Craves intimacy but fears abandonment; can be "clingy" or demanding; hypersensitive to moods of others.
Core Belief: "I am okay on my own, and I don't need others. Relying on others is weak."
Behaviors: Values independence over intimacy; withdraws when things get emotional; sees partners as "too needy."
Core Belief: "I want closeness, but it frightens me. I will be hurt if I get too close."
Behaviors: Push-pull dynamic; desires connection but sabotages it when it happens; often linked to early trauma.
What specific situations activate my attachment anxiety or avoidance? (e.g., partner not texting back, partner wanting too much time together)
What helps me return to a "secure" state? What can I ask for from my partner? What can I give myself?